Mother
You have reached the end of your journey
And a new one begins
We will mourn our loss and cherish our memories
You life was never easy and now the pain has ended.
Today we are saying goodbye to you, Mother
We loved and got mad at you
We laughed and cried with you.
We were there as you lost a husband
two sons
A father and mother
A sister, a grandson
We hope where ever this new journey takes you
You find the peace and comfort you deserve.
Goodbye Mom, we love you.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
To Nicole, my beloved friend
Go with the flow of life
Ride the tides to the end
The heaviest surf is
Between those tides
And yet we stay afloat as
We drift to the shore
We are but mere grains of sand
Deposited on the shore of life
Sometimes we are made in to castles
Or wonderful sculptures
Carefully molded by loving hands
Sometimes we are walked up on
By life’s cruel feet
Our souls broke and we are
Once again swept out to sea
On the waves of life
pjk 2009
Go with the flow of life
Ride the tides to the end
The heaviest surf is
Between those tides
And yet we stay afloat as
We drift to the shore
We are but mere grains of sand
Deposited on the shore of life
Sometimes we are made in to castles
Or wonderful sculptures
Carefully molded by loving hands
Sometimes we are walked up on
By life’s cruel feet
Our souls broke and we are
Once again swept out to sea
On the waves of life
pjk 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
The Room
The dimly lit room reflects my mood
The pain of loss is overwhelming
I feel naked as the bulb hanging from the ceiling
And as tattered as the spread draped over
The rusty old bed
All my emotions are flashing in me like
The neon sign out side the room
The blinking broken light in the room,
making it almost surreal and eerie.
The shabby old carpet bare thread
With years of people trampling it
Like the footprints that have walked overme all my life,
leaving deep imprints on my body and soul
The bottle of pills lying by me
And they tempt me.
I know they bring release from
This life of pain that has haunted me
For lasting sleep is what I need.
The pain of loss is overwhelming
I feel naked as the bulb hanging from the ceiling
And as tattered as the spread draped over
The rusty old bed
All my emotions are flashing in me like
The neon sign out side the room
The blinking broken light in the room,
making it almost surreal and eerie.
The shabby old carpet bare thread
With years of people trampling it
Like the footprints that have walked overme all my life,
leaving deep imprints on my body and soul
The bottle of pills lying by me
And they tempt me.
I know they bring release from
This life of pain that has haunted me
For lasting sleep is what I need.
Memories of You
Memories of you locked in my heart forever
Whispered voices on the phone
Looks across a crowded room
What we had bordered on love never Realizing it
At times in my bed in moments of self pleasure
I feel you gently touch me and I softly say your name
When I cry, I feel you wiping my tears away,
You gently touch my cheek.
I know that I found what could have been
And realizing it never will
I now move on with the memory
Of a love that might have been.
The end
Whispered voices on the phone
Looks across a crowded room
What we had bordered on love never Realizing it
At times in my bed in moments of self pleasure
I feel you gently touch me and I softly say your name
When I cry, I feel you wiping my tears away,
You gently touch my cheek.
I know that I found what could have been
And realizing it never will
I now move on with the memory
Of a love that might have been.
The end
You
You
I know I told you that I am over you
Told you I am moving on with my life
No longer do I cry over you
Lies, all lies from my lips
Loving you is all I have
You are my heart
The breath I take
My every thought is of you
All my dreams are of holding you
Nothing matters anymore
If you are not in my life
You will never know this
My lips are sealed
My heart is locked tight
Holding your memory inside
I know I told you that I am over you
Told you I am moving on with my life
No longer do I cry over you
Lies, all lies from my lips
Loving you is all I have
You are my heart
The breath I take
My every thought is of you
All my dreams are of holding you
Nothing matters anymore
If you are not in my life
You will never know this
My lips are sealed
My heart is locked tight
Holding your memory inside
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Broken
Today I feel broken,
cracked images of me
Are revealed in the looking glass
The shattered pieces of my life
Lay on the tiled floor.
Losing their sparkle
In the neon light of the room
Like dying embers of coal
Lifeless and empty
I sweep them up,
tossing them
Into the dark void of the trash can.
Looking at them with a disconnected
Memory of the woman I was
cracked images of me
Are revealed in the looking glass
The shattered pieces of my life
Lay on the tiled floor.
Losing their sparkle
In the neon light of the room
Like dying embers of coal
Lifeless and empty
I sweep them up,
tossing them
Into the dark void of the trash can.
Looking at them with a disconnected
Memory of the woman I was
Darkness
Darkness, quiet, loneliness
Lurking in my mind
Sensing the need for pain
For only it can soothe me
Turmoil brews as I lay
In my bed pondering
The cold steel blade
A cut in a place
No one ever sees
the pain will help if
For only the day
I feel the blade
Inside my flesh
And the sweet pain
Returns!
Lurking in my mind
Sensing the need for pain
For only it can soothe me
Turmoil brews as I lay
In my bed pondering
The cold steel blade
A cut in a place
No one ever sees
the pain will help if
For only the day
I feel the blade
Inside my flesh
And the sweet pain
Returns!
Lust
am all about hot and steamy
I no longer need love and compassion
I want my world rocked for that brief second
I want screaming and moaning
His embrace to be brutal and my pain raw
With my emotions locked away
I am all about lust and forgetting the love
For love only hurts and I have been there
My heart looks like a patchwork quilt that is
Fragile and yellowed with age.
I want no foreplay, no soft tender words
Whispered in my ear
I am all about fast retreat after the sex
With the smell of him clinging to my skin
As it still glistens from the passionless moment
Walking away and not regretting anything
Never knowing his name and not caring.
I no longer need love and compassion
I want my world rocked for that brief second
I want screaming and moaning
His embrace to be brutal and my pain raw
With my emotions locked away
I am all about lust and forgetting the love
For love only hurts and I have been there
My heart looks like a patchwork quilt that is
Fragile and yellowed with age.
I want no foreplay, no soft tender words
Whispered in my ear
I am all about fast retreat after the sex
With the smell of him clinging to my skin
As it still glistens from the passionless moment
Walking away and not regretting anything
Never knowing his name and not caring.
Talk In the dark
Talk in the dark
Leave me a trail of stardust
andI will follow you through the velvet evening.
For I do not wish talk in the dark
I would rather whisper your name to the moon
Take my hand in the dusk and lead me to the lake
Kissing me as our reflections dance on the water
For I do not wish to talk in the dark
While the crickets of the night sing their song
Lay me down on the sweet dewy grass
and make love to me as the cool wind caress us
For I do not wish to talk in the dark
As your sweet love enters me
Leave me now, my love
and followThe stardust trail on thisVelvet night
For I do not wish to talk in the dark
As I watch you walk away.
Leave me a trail of stardust
andI will follow you through the velvet evening.
For I do not wish talk in the dark
I would rather whisper your name to the moon
Take my hand in the dusk and lead me to the lake
Kissing me as our reflections dance on the water
For I do not wish to talk in the dark
While the crickets of the night sing their song
Lay me down on the sweet dewy grass
and make love to me as the cool wind caress us
For I do not wish to talk in the dark
As your sweet love enters me
Leave me now, my love
and followThe stardust trail on thisVelvet night
For I do not wish to talk in the dark
As I watch you walk away.
A Story
A Story
The room smells of urine and vomit. The sunlight filters in thru the dirty window, as she sits rocking on the stained mattress. She looks around and wonders how she got here. The empty apartment was cold and empty. A rat ran a cross the floor, passing right by her. She never flinches and tears streamed down her face.
Homeless, alone and scared, she begins to cry. Seems only yesterday she was at home with a husband and 3 kids. The pain rages thru her as the tears stream down her face. Memories flood into her brain as the craving for drugs pulses in her veins. She begins screaming but no one hears. Convulsing sobs now racks her body; she rises from the mattress and slowly walks to the door.
Alcohol and drugs are her life now. She walked away from everything, family, husband and kids. She vaguely remembers what they look like. Her brain is foggy now. Memories are fading fast. Helped by the drugs and alcohol. Nothing else matters to her, except to obtain money for her addictions.
She married at 17 to escape a abusing stepfather and a cold uncaring mother. Thinking life would turn around for her. By the times she was 20 she had 3 kids, separated and miserable. Funny how all the dreams turned on her. She feels empty. A shell of the girl who use be. She is now a fractured soul, tormented by the past and unable to deal with the present and no future in site.
She opens the door and the sunlight hurts her eyes. She walks out in to the day not knowing what it will bring and not caring. All she needs is one fix and then she can deal with it all. She stumbles out to the sidewalk dragging her life in a shabby old duffle bag. She is thinking only death can save her now and wishing it would come.
The bridge is close, oh so close!
The end
The room smells of urine and vomit. The sunlight filters in thru the dirty window, as she sits rocking on the stained mattress. She looks around and wonders how she got here. The empty apartment was cold and empty. A rat ran a cross the floor, passing right by her. She never flinches and tears streamed down her face.
Homeless, alone and scared, she begins to cry. Seems only yesterday she was at home with a husband and 3 kids. The pain rages thru her as the tears stream down her face. Memories flood into her brain as the craving for drugs pulses in her veins. She begins screaming but no one hears. Convulsing sobs now racks her body; she rises from the mattress and slowly walks to the door.
Alcohol and drugs are her life now. She walked away from everything, family, husband and kids. She vaguely remembers what they look like. Her brain is foggy now. Memories are fading fast. Helped by the drugs and alcohol. Nothing else matters to her, except to obtain money for her addictions.
She married at 17 to escape a abusing stepfather and a cold uncaring mother. Thinking life would turn around for her. By the times she was 20 she had 3 kids, separated and miserable. Funny how all the dreams turned on her. She feels empty. A shell of the girl who use be. She is now a fractured soul, tormented by the past and unable to deal with the present and no future in site.
She opens the door and the sunlight hurts her eyes. She walks out in to the day not knowing what it will bring and not caring. All she needs is one fix and then she can deal with it all. She stumbles out to the sidewalk dragging her life in a shabby old duffle bag. She is thinking only death can save her now and wishing it would come.
The bridge is close, oh so close!
The end
This Old Desk
I think if you are truly going to write well
you have to have this old desk.
with its marred top
stained from years of use
The childish scribbling of a name
etched in the wood.
The pidgeon holes
filled with thoughts
The unused ink well
void of the bottle
A glass paper weight sitting alone
Memories of the old typewriter
that has been replaced with the computer
The old battered roll top that sticks when opened
with twenty drawers
full of partial descriptions
of things you collected
and one day when you don't even realize it
you find two or three and put them together
and wow
the words connected
and the poem realized.
the end
cyber love story
A Cyber Love Story(edited copy)
She sits in front of the computer, waiting for his name to appear online. She knows it is over and he said he is done, but she clings on..... Her every thought is consumed with him, her daydreams are of meeting him and he grabs her in his arms kissing her passionately. It is eating away at her and she loses all sense of reality. It has been 3 months since he told her he was moving on and they could be friends. Of course he had told her this before, several times, so she clings to the hope he might return to her.
She remembers one long day over a year ago when she first instant messaged him and ask him to cyber, little did she know that she would fall in love. She had never cybered before, but the emptiness of her life was overwhelming her and she reached out for him.
Why him, she thinks, now looking back, he was too young and not her type. But he was funny and witty in the room and she was drawn to him. He was so willing to cyber and it began.
At first it was just in the instant message box and in text only. Typing lines of intense sexual things to each other as they masturbated. Then he let her watch him on his web cam as he jerked off. Soon the exchange of phone numbers, bringing the cybering to a new height. Oh, the words he spoke to her, passionate words of things he would love to do to her if he was there. She would have as many as 10 orgasms listening to him as she touched herself. For 3 months they had wonderful times on the phone, she felt fulfilled and desired. She was in love. She wanted him and he became her everything. Then Boom!, one day he told her he had a new love interest and they might end soon, but he was free until he met the new one. Crushed and hurt, she continued on with the cybering, she needed it so. The new love interested failed and he was back. She told him she loved him and he responded that he loved her as well, but the age difference bothers him. But he wanted to meet her sometime for a weekend of unbridled sex. She was ecstatic. meeting him was a dream of hers.
Then the other came along and he was in love with them, but they never lasted and he would come back to her. She would be waiting as always to take him back. For now it was the only life she had. Nothing else mattered.
She knew of the many others he cybered with, some he told her about, others she found out as women do talk. She didn’t care, She loved him.
A year went by and they continue the phone sex and he continued to look for others. She was content with the scrapes of attention she got. Believing that one day he would realize what he had and come to her. Several times they plan to meet and something or someone came up and it never happened.
Then the day came when he said he was done, it was over. He told her he loved her deeply and would always care about her, but he wanted kids something she could never give him. For a few weeks she begged and pleaded with him to come back, to cyber again. She needed him so very much. The blade shines in the light…………..
The end
pjk
She sits in front of the computer, waiting for his name to appear online. She knows it is over and he said he is done, but she clings on..... Her every thought is consumed with him, her daydreams are of meeting him and he grabs her in his arms kissing her passionately. It is eating away at her and she loses all sense of reality. It has been 3 months since he told her he was moving on and they could be friends. Of course he had told her this before, several times, so she clings to the hope he might return to her.
She remembers one long day over a year ago when she first instant messaged him and ask him to cyber, little did she know that she would fall in love. She had never cybered before, but the emptiness of her life was overwhelming her and she reached out for him.
Why him, she thinks, now looking back, he was too young and not her type. But he was funny and witty in the room and she was drawn to him. He was so willing to cyber and it began.
At first it was just in the instant message box and in text only. Typing lines of intense sexual things to each other as they masturbated. Then he let her watch him on his web cam as he jerked off. Soon the exchange of phone numbers, bringing the cybering to a new height. Oh, the words he spoke to her, passionate words of things he would love to do to her if he was there. She would have as many as 10 orgasms listening to him as she touched herself. For 3 months they had wonderful times on the phone, she felt fulfilled and desired. She was in love. She wanted him and he became her everything. Then Boom!, one day he told her he had a new love interest and they might end soon, but he was free until he met the new one. Crushed and hurt, she continued on with the cybering, she needed it so. The new love interested failed and he was back. She told him she loved him and he responded that he loved her as well, but the age difference bothers him. But he wanted to meet her sometime for a weekend of unbridled sex. She was ecstatic. meeting him was a dream of hers.
Then the other came along and he was in love with them, but they never lasted and he would come back to her. She would be waiting as always to take him back. For now it was the only life she had. Nothing else mattered.
She knew of the many others he cybered with, some he told her about, others she found out as women do talk. She didn’t care, She loved him.
A year went by and they continue the phone sex and he continued to look for others. She was content with the scrapes of attention she got. Believing that one day he would realize what he had and come to her. Several times they plan to meet and something or someone came up and it never happened.
Then the day came when he said he was done, it was over. He told her he loved her deeply and would always care about her, but he wanted kids something she could never give him. For a few weeks she begged and pleaded with him to come back, to cyber again. She needed him so very much. The blade shines in the light…………..
The end
pjk
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